Acknowledgement

I’m thinking about a lot of different stuff  today; still obsessing over my book but also thinking about church this morning, about worship and what I’ve been doing or not doing over the past weeks. Last week as I’ve admitted already I was a bit consumed with the Hunger Games, I don’t deny it or really even regret it but I also feel slightly empty without it to hold me anymore and that’s where I find my problem, my misguided worship as it were. Its not that the books are evil or me taking the time to read them was a bad thing it’s more like my act of ignoring God, making other things a bigger priority which was not cool.

One of my devotions last week was about sharing your life with God, in a sense making Him a part of the things you love, like discussing those things with Him, making Him a part of everything you do because He is already there sharing those moments with you even if you never acknowledge Him, so why not acknowledge Him? And that’s where I’ve found myself right now, that point of acknowledgement. I want desperately to be a girl so caught up in God that His presence is evident to me and those around me without the need to constantly be striving for it. I want the way I live and breathe and move to be directed by His presence and free from pride and religion, I want to be able to do the things I love, like get lost in a book without separating those things from my relationship with God because that relationship, His presence is connected to every breathe that I breath and every move that I make, He makes me who I am.
 

I don’t fully understand how to start this process, become that girl. I imagine it will be something like letting go of what I think is mine. I’ve heard it said before God is a gentleman and will never force Himself on you, I believe this to be true and the reason I need to start changing stuff up, start giving God the go ahead to be involved in every aspect of my life, because even though it is already His and I could never keep Him out of anything if I tried, He will also never force Himself into anything I might claim as my own, and that’s just it, I claim many, many things as mine. Maybe it’s this culture, or the way I was raised, perhaps it’s my personality, or simply human nature as a result of sin, I can really say and I don’t really need to know, after all the reason is not a solution but just another thing to let go of. So today my perspective would be something like, if I ever want anything in my life to be of true value I will need to let God claim it as His own first, because sharing with God is far more rewarding than obsessing by yourself.