My mind is filled with thoughts; thoughts that desire to be words, but don’t know how to find their way to this page,,, before I started writing I spent 30 to 45 minuets praying for people whom I share life with; its something I’ve been trying to do all year, soooo for about a week now. Its funny I keep telling myself that I didn’t make any new years resolutions, but when I think about all the things I’ve been trying to do since the new year started I actually made a lot of them, but that’s not the point, the point is one of my non resolutions is to pray for others more frequently.
You see, the last few months, I was beginning to be annoyed with myself, I was feeling really self-centered and lonely because I was cutting myself off from people, but I already wrote about that so that’s not the point either. Point is I decided in an attempt to connect with people and really see them for who they are, I would begin to pray for them with no other purpose but to bless them, because God loves them and made them and they are beautiful. So today, I decided that I wanted to pray for the people I work with because, my day was not good or bad but I did experience one moment of complete loneliness for no reason at all really, and since in that moment I felt far from all the people that surrounded me I knew it was time to pray for them. But I’m sorry to say that, that is not the point either.
The true point that really super long intro was to say, while I was praying God opened my eyes a little tiny bit to see the person I was praying for, or maybe not to see them but to see the way I was looking at them. Maybe this is just for me I don’t really know, but you see, I was going through the list of people that I work with that I wanted to pray for in my head and I came across one of those people that I really like but don’t really know and as I started to pray I felt the need to say “I don’t really know them” and as I said those words at the same time I was half thinking half saying that I do sort of and God was like, you see what you want them to be how you want to see it, and their not the only one you do that with. And I was like whoa and that’s right and how do I stop doing it and I just kept praying, and after that by praying with the knowledge that I don’t know this person not really at all, I was able to releases the false connection that I had made with them in my head to God and maybe really bless this person or possibly open the door to be able to more truly connect with them at a later date, maybe I don’t know. I’m sorry this blog turned out to be so very long but I found that moment to be truly beautiful and I wanted to share. Just more of God’s gentle corrections I guess : )
You see, the last few months, I was beginning to be annoyed with myself, I was feeling really self-centered and lonely because I was cutting myself off from people, but I already wrote about that so that’s not the point either. Point is I decided in an attempt to connect with people and really see them for who they are, I would begin to pray for them with no other purpose but to bless them, because God loves them and made them and they are beautiful. So today, I decided that I wanted to pray for the people I work with because, my day was not good or bad but I did experience one moment of complete loneliness for no reason at all really, and since in that moment I felt far from all the people that surrounded me I knew it was time to pray for them. But I’m sorry to say that, that is not the point either.
The true point that really super long intro was to say, while I was praying God opened my eyes a little tiny bit to see the person I was praying for, or maybe not to see them but to see the way I was looking at them. Maybe this is just for me I don’t really know, but you see, I was going through the list of people that I work with that I wanted to pray for in my head and I came across one of those people that I really like but don’t really know and as I started to pray I felt the need to say “I don’t really know them” and as I said those words at the same time I was half thinking half saying that I do sort of and God was like, you see what you want them to be how you want to see it, and their not the only one you do that with. And I was like whoa and that’s right and how do I stop doing it and I just kept praying, and after that by praying with the knowledge that I don’t know this person not really at all, I was able to releases the false connection that I had made with them in my head to God and maybe really bless this person or possibly open the door to be able to more truly connect with them at a later date, maybe I don’t know. I’m sorry this blog turned out to be so very long but I found that moment to be truly beautiful and I wanted to share. Just more of God’s gentle corrections I guess : )
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