I turned 23 yesterday; birthdays are great and a lot of people made me feel really special, but truth be told I don’t feel much different age wise, I mean it’s just one more day and it’s not like all of the sudden I’m a different person because I’m now older, but at the same time being that one number older does make me think about where my life is and where I thought I would have been by this age when I was younger. I mean if you had asked me when I was in high school where I thought I would be when I turned 23 the story I would have laid out for you would not have looked like my life does today, most obvious difference? I thought I would be married by now or at least in a serious relationship leading to marriage. But that’s just not the way things turned out. Don’t get me wrong I’m okay with that most of the time, but what can I say I’m still thinking about the boy, honestly more this week (month) than I have in a long time, because every now and then I wish I were just your average girl who was okay with just dating a guy, but that’s just not how my story goes.
You see I made a decision a long time ago that I wouldn’t date, at first it was really just a thought, a feeling that my first boyfriend would probably be the guy I marry, but then over time it became more of a real decision, a decision that I don’t need to date to find my husband, that really I don’t need to “find” him at all. I trust God, His timing is perfect, His plans are perfect, so, I pray, I pray for this guy, the one that God knows and I don’t, my other half, if you want to call him that, not that I find him, but that God prepare us for each other and lead us together in His perfect way. And the thing is I’ve reached the point in this decision where I couldn’t go looking for him if I wanted to, I know I can’t rush it, I’m not desperate and I don’t fear growing old alone. I have done my best on giving this one to God, all that’s left for me to do is wait, and pray and every now and then just run back to God when I start to feel lonely or crushy or just flat out tired of the whole being single thing and when I do He gives me grace to keep waiting. And I know this may sound like a crazy point of view but what can I say that’s just the way I see the world when it comes to me, and dating.
I know you often try to figure out why you’re still single (I do as well). It's as if this could be punishment for something you’ve done in the past or have not done. You probably question God’s rationale behind the situation, but have you ever thought about the fact that your singleness could be a reflection of how highly God must think of you?
ReplyDeleteRemember the story of Job in the Bible? Job had a wonderful life and He was an upstanding Christian by any measure. The Bible even says He was ‘blameless and upright’. Now by our worldly standards we would believe that Job should have enjoyed a perfect life, but of course the Bible tells us just the opposite.
Job 1:8 tells us that the Lord thought so highly of Job that when Satan came strolling about seeking whom he may devour, the Lord asked, “Have you considered my servant Job?” Now I know it’s easy to just focus on all the negative things that then happened to Job, but let’s look at this from a different perspective. Job was such an admiral Christian that God Himself said ‘I know he can be trusted to be faithful despite the trials.’ (paraphrased)
Does this sound like your life Starr? You are trying to live right, read your Bible, pay your tithes, participate in ministry, aspire to purity, etc. but your friends who are not as committed are the ones getting married. Maybe like Job, God can trust you with the trials (in your case the trials of singleness).
Just a little thought... But now I send you encouragement -
Romans 8:28-29 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters."
Don’t become stagnant in your singleness, grow and evolve into the woman of God you are designed and destined to be.